Tweaking Your Misfiring Marriage Issues

BLOG OVERVIEW: Marriage issues can cause many problems, but sometimes the fix is much more simple than we first thought. Try minor tweaks first.

Tweaking Your Misfiring Marriage Issues

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I am by no means a mechanic. However, bootstrapping while finances are tight, you become many things. This last week, I became a mechanic.

My truck had been running really rough for the past few weeks and I couldn’t stand it anymore. After some investigating, okay mainly YouTube, I realized my truck was misfiring.

I went to the local auto shop and grabbed 6 spark wires and 6 spark plugs. I had no idea how long this would take. YouTube was saying this was a 15–20 minute job. They should put an asterisk next to those videos saying, “Amateurs, triple or quadruple the length of your job because you don’t know what you are doing ROOKIE!” Just saying.

I did the first 3 plugs and wires a couple of nights ago. 2 hours, piece of cake. The truck ran like it was a whole new truck. I was pumped. Mechanic? Check.

Yesterday I decided to finish the job. I thought it was pretty reasonable to believe after the next 3 spark plugs and spark wires changed, I would have a radically different truck.

My reasoning fell through though. Remember, ROOKIE mechanic here.

After completing the other 3 in just 90 minutes, I took my truck out for a test drive. Only problem was, the truck was worse off than the previous issue. It was misfiring horribly.


Tempted to hit YouTube and take apart my engine, I stepped back and thought about minor issues. My truck was working fine before the second round of 3 spark plugs and wires changed, so it had to be something minor.

After a little tinkering, I talked to my neighbor. He suggested I might have crossed my wires.

I simply unplugged two wires and switched them.

BAM! The truck was fixed. Really? It was that minor? My 5 week old son could have done that.

However, this lesson popped in my head. How many times do we have misfiring in our marriages and look to have a engine rebuilt? We look to have a complete re-haul when sometimes, all it takes is a minor tweak.

Marriage Issues That Are Causing A Misfire

Think about these marriage issues and ask yourself if you just need is a simple fix or tweak.

Communication In Marriage

We will run to counselors and read all the books on communication, but ignore the issue in front of our face. Could it really be that simple? LISTEN! Many marriages fix their communication issues when they simply start applying emphatic listening. Read my other post on The Style of Listening That Will Save Your Marriage.

Trust In Marriage

Your spouse has broken your trust and it is wrecking your marriage. You want to trust them again, but you just can’t bring yourself to trust again. Look deeper into forgiveness. Trust is usually not the issue, it is your ability to forgive.

How many times should you forgive? Jesus told Peter in Matthew 18:21-22, “70 times 7,” referring to a perfectly infinite number. Keep forgiving. I know many people want to justify right now, but stop. Simply focus on forgiveness and see what happens.

Love In Marriage

The love flame has gone out. You go the extra mile to try to spark the passion once again and nothing. You feel hopeless and your love has left. SERVE. Jesus says that you will know one’s love by their sacrifice. Tweak your marriage by focusing on serving your spouse and watch the flame, passion, and love strike up again.

Marriage Issues Corrected By Minor Tweaks/Fixes

You could probably see how this concept could be applied to anything. If you have a confidence issue, don’t over think it. If you have a career/job issue, don’t over think it. (If your career or job is your issue check out 48 Days by Dan Miller, the guy rocks.) If your attitude is the issue, don’t over think it.

But let’s look at marriage issues. Many marriages begin their downward spiral because of a minor issue. They see minor issues as the world’s biggest problem. You plead with God to save your marriage, but yet He has already provided you with the answers.

Sometimes marriages being saved come from switching the wires. Seriously, unplug one wire and switch with the other. BAM! It’s fixed.

God has supplied us with His word that is perfect and holy. I know 1 Corinthians 13 is stated a lot, but the power of Paul’s written word here is AMAZING.

“4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

How are you checking out here? Are there any items where you are misfiring? Could you be running rough on patience, self-seeking, or keeping no record of wrong? Where ever you are getting hung up on, dive into that item.

Yes, work. Work in marriage makes for a good marriage. However, GREAT work in marriage makes for a GREAT marriage.

Trust me, put God’s word at the foundation of your marriage and see it transform through simple tweaks.

Our goal in marriage is NOT perfection, but healed brokenness through the powerful love of Jesus Christ.

It’s time to get to GREAT work and begin tweaking to correct your misfiring of marriage issues.

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About Jared Buckley

Experienced in family adversity, Jared has witnessed the great potential in hardships. Jared has spent the last 10 years coaching, teaching, and leading all members of families. From teaching teenagers to counseling couples, Jared has focused his energy on showing the great potential for families and marriages who leverage adversity through the power of Christ.