Last week in the midst of our stay in the PICU, Stephanie and I had many tough conversations. Discussions involving the short-term and long-term decisions that will help Noah and our family.
With the first battle of RSV and pneumonia coming to a close, we are now stepping into the next battle.
The Preparation For Open-Heart Surgery
When Fayth went in for open-heart surgery to repair her AV Canal or AVSD 5 years ago, we had to make sure she didn’t get sick. She became a “bubble baby.” Many from Arizona remember that time for us.
Operation “Bubble Baby” Is In Full Swing
In one of the conversations last week, Stephanie and I decided it would be best to keep Stephen and Fayth away from Noah for right now.
This afternoon, I took Mimi (Steph’s mom) and Stephen and Fayth to the airport. The kids will be in Phoenix for nearly 3 weeks.
I was not fully cognitive of the length of time until I got back in my truck before leaving the airport. I was on the phone with Steph when I said to her, “It will only be for a week and a half.”
Steph corrected me, “JARED, they will be gone nearly 3 weeks.”
I started crying.
I had no idea why I thought it was such a shorter period of time.
I Am Going To Miss…
I am going to miss the strong hold of Stephen’s hugs.
I am going to miss Stephen and my boxing matches.
I am going to miss Fayth singing and dancing.
I am going to miss Fayth’s abundant joy which radiates the room.
I am going to miss Fayth waving hi at Daddy during during time.
I am going to miss making my rounds to the kids’ rooms at night before going to bed.
I am going to miss the loving touch of our two amazing kids.
STEPHANIE AND I ARE GOING TO MISS OUR TWO KIDS!
The kids will be flying back to Salt Lake City on Stephen’s 2nd birthday, Valentine’s Day.
We understand there are many parents who have had to leave their kids for a period of time…
We didn’t leave the kids.
We sent our kids away from Mom and Dad. We sent them away from home.
Did I mention for nearly 3 weeks?
Due to the already tough circumstance we are in right now, this was really tough. It was a tough decision.
Spirit Is Willing, But The Flesh Is Weak
Jesus said while praying in the garden of Gethsemane, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)
I am not comparing our situation with Jesus dying on the cross, but the I understand the statement.
There are times in our lives where we know the right decision in our spirit, but we are battling our flesh. The decisions that God wants us to make, we fight against. We think, “It is going to hurt. I don’t want to. But what if…” These thoughts run through our heads, but the Spirit is speaking a different message.
When the Spirit speaks to us truth, we must listen. We must be obedient and act in faith. When the tough decisions arise, how do we discern the right decision?
Deuteronomy 4:29–31 says, “29But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. 30When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. 31For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.”
We seek God with all of our being and rest in his answers. We seek to know God and obey God. He is a merciful God and we trust him because he is faithful.
How To Have Peace In Tough Decisions
My flesh does not comprehend the ways of God, but God’s Spirit does. (1 Corinthians 2:11)
This is why in these moments, we are leaning into God’s love and mercy.
We who know Jesus, have the peace of God that transcends all understanding. When our flesh is confused, we press into God and he gives us peace. Peace that we are loved and comforted in our soul. For the yoke is easy and burden is light.
When has a burden ever been light?
WHEN JESUS IS THE KING, LORD, AND MASTER OF OUR LIVES!!!
Peace can come from no other source outside of Jesus.
This moment in time is not burden-less, but Jesus has made it light through his power and grace. These are still tough decisions, but we rest in the grace and mercy of God.