As I was driving back to the hospital last night, Stephanie and I chatted on the phone. She was walking back from just taking a nap. It was one of the rare times one of us was not by Noah’s bed side. My parents had taken their turn of watching Noah.
Steph and I got into a few more deeper conversations about this whole experience. We talked about the emotions, the events, and the future to come.
Then I had to share my deeply rooted heart in the matter.
This life and family was not up for trading.
The Trading Possibilities
Over the past 6 years, our family has gone through a lot. We have experienced so many hardships and challenges that makes my head spin.
- Our oldest daughter was diagnosed with Down syndrome prenatally. Then she was given a 60% chance to survive because of a heart defect.
- Fayth was born on June 21, 2009. On September 21, 2009, Fayth went in for open-heart surgery.
- A couple of months later, we sold our home for significantly less than we owed on it. We needed to get out from under it.
- We then folded up shop and moved to Utah. We left Phoenix and family behind. This was a tough move for Stephanie.
- On February 14, 2013, the day that should have brought us so much joy, I almost lost my wife and soon to be son. Stephen Grant Buckley was born in a dramatic style. I can’t tell you the fear I had in losing my wife that morning at 4:30am.
- After struggling for 4 years at a church plant in Utah, we closed the doors in January of 2014.
- We have battled the financial side of changing careers all of 2014. This has been a real battle for me as the spiritual leader of our family.
- Then in the last portion 2014, we sought out all the reasons why Noah Dean Buckley was struggling. Much to our disapproval, no answers.
- Well, we finally got answers. Noah Dean needs to fix his holes in his heart. He needs open-heart surgery.
Really? 2 kids with open-surgery? Who goes through this?
No Compensation Big Enough To Trade Our Family
Well, guess what? None of it is up for trade.
As I talked to Steph on the phone, I realized something. I would never in all of eternity forfeit one ounce of these battles.
My heart is in so much love for my whole entire family. It brings me to tears to see my kids. They are the most amazing kids.
My Wife Rocks
When Steph and I first talked about getting married. There was one trait that stood out so much. Stephanie was a FIGHTER. I knew that no matter the situation or circumstance, she would FIGHT. I wanted a fighter for our marriage and for our family. If we could fight together, it would get us through the most rough times.
I never envisioned that we would need to fight together to this degree.
Well we have. And Steph is even more a FIGHTER than what I first thought.
If you want someone in your corner, Stephanie is that woman.
Our Kids Are Amazing
Fayth has so much love and compassion, it is awesome. Watching her respond to her angels daily, leaves us awe-struck. When she sings and worships Jesus, it brings me to tears. I can’t tell you the times where she has pulled me out of ruts. Whether it is a hug or her lifting up her hands to worship Jesus. All of it is so amazing.
Stephen has the spirit of a fighter. He is a rough and tough dude. I die laughing at how he shows his strength. When he wants to fight Daddy, I let him go to town. I want him to learn the attitude of being a fighter. But we will teach him to fight the right things. A fighter for the kingdom of God. A fighter for his sister. A fighter that does not back down from struggles and challenges in life.
Noah carries sense of joy with him. His smile is so contagious. I think he is just a big flirt really. He has a glow to him that is electrifying. That is honestly what I miss most about him right now. I am anticipating his smiling face to return soon.
Our 3 kids have an illuminating factor to them. But then I realize why. Our kids have had so many prayers offered up for them. Maybe the battles have all happened to bring in more prayers for the family. Maybe there is a deeper meaning to all these battles and the prayers are a big factor.
Kingdom Impacting Family
Because it all brings glory to God.
Steph and I have from day one said we want to bring glory to God.
“7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.”
Satan You Have No Power
So many families and marriages are struggling today. The pressures are building up and relationships are being tested.
But we have a Savior who is BIGGER.
We have a God who reigns supreme.
No matter the struggle or the fight, Jesus is still King and the GREAT I AM.
Death could not hold him down. He has risen. Risen from temptation, sin, and death.
When Jesus died, Satan thought he won. But then chapter 2 happened.
Just as Jesus rose from the dead, we have RISEN.
Galatians 2:20 My life is not my own, for we have a Savior, Lord, and Master who has walked these battle grounds in front of us.
Come Lord Jesus Come.
What are we going to do with these battles?
SHARE THE EVERLASTING LOVE OF GOD!
Meaning, no matter the challenge or hardship, JESUS IS MORE. Jesus is SUPREME OVER ALL THINGS. Good and bad.
Jesus has brought us grace. Grace is the gift of God’s favor. We are in God’s favor.
WE ARE IN GOD’S FAVOR!!!!
Come on now. WE – ARE – IN – GOD’S – FAVOR !!!!!
This life and family is not up for trading!!!!
Because JESUS IS OUR KING!!!!! We already did all the trading we need. My own desires for Jesus. My own aspirations for Jesus. My own flesh for Jesus. My own struggles for Jesus. My own marriage for Jesus. My own family for Jesus.
My own life for Jesus!!!!!
End of the story. JESUS WINS!!!!